"After nine years, you know what I realize? Ignorance is bliss." -- Joe Pantoliano as Cypher, The Matrix (1998)
It's been six years since we added some new words to our vocabulary. Let's go over them. Hanging chad. We learned about Osama. Anthrax (nottheband). Taliban. Al-Qaida. Ground Zero. Political correctness. Wardrobe malfunction. Where the hell was all that before all this crap came down?! And why wasn't it released sooner? Is our country telling us something he don't know?!
"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget." -- Thomas Szasz
I'm not a dog person, I hate dogs, but can somebody tell me what Michael Vick was thinking?! Dogfighting? Gambling? Drowning dogs? OK so they were pit bulls -notdogsbutteethwithlegsandspeed- but that $#!t wasn't cool! See you in five, Michael.
Senator Bathroom Boy Craig... you shouldn't have pled guilty, jackass.
And Don "I'm Not A Racist, That's What's So Insane About This. Imus!" Imus is suing for his job back, and a girl on the Rutgers women's team is suing him. He wants to screw CBS, but he's gonna end up taking it in the rear anyway either end.
How are the mighty fallen in the midst of the battle! -- Bible, Samuel i. 25
First, that Benoit shit. Then sagging ratings. Now, this. WWE has suspended 10 Superstars for violating the "Wellness Policy". Vince McMahon's doing a helluva job running his company, innit? Wrestling fans, if you still really really really need your WWE fix, skip the programming, and plunk down $50-60 for the latest SmackDown! Vs. RAW instead... it's much better than the shows have been anyway, right?
But that's just my opinion.
"Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke." -- Lynda Barry
Lisa "You Ain't Woman Enough To Take My Man (IV)" Nowak now is able to swim with her kids, lace up her Navy uniform boot and exercise -- all without the hassles of wearing a global-positioning device strapped to her ankle.The Navy captain, accused of attacking her romantic rival at Orlando International Airport, complained that the half-pound monitor got in the way of her lifestyle.
I wonder if they let her keep the diaper?
"I was shooting blanks just like Kevin Buchanan!" -- Tuc Watkins as David Vickers, One Life To Live
OK, I'm done ranting. Thanks for listening.